I'm sorry it's been so long. But maybe you're not sorry? Who knows. As you might have inferred from my last post, I was in a very necessary period of mourning following the death of my first love.
But I'm moving on. I have embarked on a journey. It will be an odyssey, and it may never end. The Sirens' song may persuade me to never turn back. Or the journey may abruptly and disastrously, my vessel sinking to the bottom of the sea like the Costa Concordia. Only time will tell.
I have begun the 'oil cleansing method'. It will either be the best or worst thing ever. This is the kind of thing that leaves no room for a middle ground. Either my face will explode in a 4th of July fireworks display of volcanic acne, or I will be left radiant and glowing like Sophia Loren but way, way younger. And paler.
So far, my impression leans towards the latter. Somehow, some way, smearing a 50/50 blend of olive oil and castor oil on my face twice a day for the last month has left my skin soft, unblemished, and, counter-intuitively, less greasy than ever. I think I'm a convert. The hideous painful dryness that had plagued me since we arrived in Utah, that left my face feeling like it was going to crack and crumble off of my skull, is gone. Also gone is the oil slick that daily erupted from my T-zone, luring the Daniel Plainviews and the 14-year-old boys alike.
Also, I could swear my acne scars have faded noticeably just in the last month. After I observed this just from doing the oil cleansing, I bought a bottle of pure vitamin E oil and started applying that at night to speed things up. I might just be seeing what I want to see, but it seems to be really working. I wish I would have done this years ago! Then maybe the mean person who commented, on a LiveJournal I kept back in the Stone Ages, that my cheeks looked like rodents had chewed on them, would have had to find some other way to traumatize me and make me self-conscious for a good decade. Thanks, a-hole, I still remember your insult, and it still hurts, so, mission accomplished. You must be so proud.
ALSO also, why don't more dermatologists recommend this skin care regimen? I mean...clearly you can still make bank recommending that your patients go raid their own kitchen cabinets. That's every bit as lucrative for you as dishing out prescriptions for Accutane and Retin-A and every other exorbitantly priced yet extremely dangerous medicine or caustic skin cream. Right?
For further evidence that this oil thing is working, I had a dream last night that I was washing my face with regular facewash. Oddly, I have dreamed about washing my face before, but this time, there wasn't that feeling of relief that I had forced myself to wash my face despite being dead tired, or that I had remembered to wash my face even though I was drunk, or any of the standard face-washing dreams. This time, I realized I was washing my face with chemicals, and I was HORRIFIED. Oh, the sulfides. My god, the sulfates. Just believe me when I say it was just awful. I was so worried that I had just thrown away a month of effort, and had thrown off the balance of my skin with one careless act. I am not even embarrassed to say that I awoke with a start, touched my face to confirm that it was only a terrible dream, and fell back to sleep feeling relieved.
I think I'm a convert.
(Andy just thinks I'm one step away from searching for my spirit animal in the woods and ceasing to shave my legs)