Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The Deluge

Let's recap.  In the past week, I have gone from being completely and utterly unemployed, to having two job interviews, to being offered one job, to being offered BOTH jobs.

So I have elevated myself from the status of unemployed derelict to underemployed striver.  I like the sound of that, really, I do.  I love that I will have two jobs but I will still probably not work more than 22 hours a week.  I love that both jobs pay less than $9 an hour.  I sure am glad I graduated from high school.  And college.  And grad school.

Can you tell the afterglow of my triumphs is already starting to fade?

I don't mean to sound ungrateful.  I'm thrilled to have any job, let alone two.  This tells me that I'm not utterly unemployable, and I at least won't have an alarming length of unproductive time lurking in the subtext of future resumes.  But really?  I got a master's degree in library science so I could have a meaningful career that I enjoyed.  I did not spend thousands of dollars and hours so I could dick around in random menial jobs that require a GED or some college at best.

On the bright side, the likelihood of having to clean up human feces at either job is incredibly slim (but never non-existent).  At my first job, and my fourth job, and my most recent job, I encountered massive quantities of human excrement in places where it didn't belong.  It was horrendous, but I like to consider it all as a great learning experience.  For example, I learned that people are, by and large, nothing more than filthy animals that have learned to walk upright and talk (with varying degrees of success).  Also, I learned important tactics and evasive maneuvers for avoiding clean-up duty.  But that's a story for another post.

Yes, another post, because there will be many, many more.  I've learned that there is some concern about the continuation of this blog now that I've obtained gainful employment.  Don't fret, friends.  I have a feeling that interacting with this town's populace can only add fuel to the blog fire. 


  1. True story: In the Army, a couple of times I had to burn hundreds of strangers excrement that was collected in a large iron pot. During this burning, it was important to continuously stir the flaming pile of now liquid poo, in order to ensure that methane pockets didn't build up and cause the vile concoction to explode.

  2. Oh GOD you win! It's hard to imagine anything more foul, unless it involves actually ingesting poo. And there really aren't too many jobs outside of the Tokyo porn industry that require such an act, so you've probably hit the limit right there.