The Trouble with Meth

I see there is quite the meth problem here in the Inland Northwest.  There are billboards all over Idaho and Montana with cute little slogans about the terrible things meth has done to people's lives.  Here are some examples:

I guess my pimp's been ripping me off, then.

I don't know, this one's kinda sexy, like he just got in a fight over me.

I guess she learned her lesson, then.

Everything?  Even tampons?

Wait, this isn't an American Apparel ad?

These ads are pretty effective, but only for reinforcing what most people already know:  meth users are retarded and gross.  I don't really think they would prevent anyone from actually doing meth, because someone who might possibly think trying crystal meth is a good idea clearly lacks the rational capacity to grasp the messages in this ad campaign.  More importantly, meth MELTS YOUR FACE and turns you into a hideous freak, and these billboards feature airbrushed models (photographed in ideal light settings) who just happen to have some icky fake cold sores painted on their faces.  These billboards are telling me that meth will make me a little pale, but thin and basically attractive.  I just might need a spray tan and a few Band-aids afterwards, but who cares, I'll be so HIGH and THIN, and there will be lots of SEX that I might even get paid for!

The meth billboard people should take a look at some of my design ideas:

 But by 'some' I really meant one.  That's all I got.  Because that's all you need.  Does the prospect of looking like either of those things terrify you?  How about looking like the bastard love child of both those things?  Good.  Carry on.  Go do some other drugs that won't make you as ugly.  I mean, I'm not exactly advocating drug use, but if you're going to do some drugs, you probably have some better choices.  I think of meth as the Franzia of drugs.  You think, "Oh, it's wine, and it's so affordable.  Yes, I will choose this Franzia."  But later, you realize, "Oh, that was not wine at all, it made me bloated, stained my teeth, and gave me a headache.  Worse still, I'm not experiencing even one iota of drunkenness!"  I gather that meth is like that, but worse.

I don't know why I have the sudden urge to harp on meth...I mean it's not my personal crusade and I am pretty sure I don't know any meth users, but like, WHY?  I just can't wrap my head around how it could possibly be appealing.  Of ALL the drugs you could possibly do.  I mean, hell, sniff some glue or something. Wait, don't do that, it will just make you stupider until you are finally stupid enough to think meth is a good idea.