Syllabus #116

The other day I had to go to Walgreens and there was a Party Barge taking up half the parking lot.  Upon entering the store, I encountered a gaggle of sunburned bachelorettes wearing matching screen-printed tank tops and cheap cowboy hats.  One of their tribe, in addition to the sunburn, was poking at a constellation of angry red welts on her chest and arms while the others helpfully proffered various rash creams.  #LastFlingBeforeTheRingworm

Also, there's been a proliferation of bachelorettes rolling into town with the most entitled, ignorant twattery written on their car windows - "Last Fling Before the Ring - Buy the Bride a Drink! Venmo @ImAnEntitledWhore" or whatever cutesy name they've concocted for their 72-hour blackout.  There's an AirBnB on the next block over where there were no fewer than 4 such cars parked on the street this weekend.  There's thirsty and then there's thirsty.  Does that EVER work?  Do you ever get anything other than surly locals sending you a request for funds?  

I'm gonna start driving around with my back window painted to say, "Not a bachelorette, just tryna get drunk, Venmo @SadAlcoholic"

 

Just as peach season is winding down, you have to show me another thing I want to do with my haul?  

And can I make this with peaches instead?  Also, doesn't the term Brown Betty just sound like a cute euphemism for when ladies be pewpin'?

Where was this when I was trudging through Medieval Seminar in college?  

There's a theme here, and it's I'M HUNGRY.  This sandwich looks fire, but the question is, is it spicy enough for me?

I want to do the right thing to keep myself and others safe, but like, I'm so OVER sniffing my own face and breath all day.

Well the first photo on this page almost had me bawling but the rest of them are so adorbs I'm sharing it anyway.  Kitties!  I just love kitties so much my heart could explode.  

One of each, please.

Analog Reading:

Read all of Casey Wilson's The Wreckage of My Presence.    It was a funny, fast read, but also heartfelt.

Started chipping away at Bill Bryson's The Body again.  We inhabit such strange and fascinating flesh sacks, and our flawed and incomplete understanding of them over the centuries has led to some rather perplexing medical treatments.