That old shower injury flaring up again...

I wasn't allowed to shower for the longest time.  Unitl I was six or seven, I was made to take baths, which I detested.  The bath water was never hot enough or deep enough.  I believe this shower taboo stemmed from my mother's fear that I would fall in the shower.

I always found this to be completely ridiculous and unfounded.  What kind of able-bodied person just falls in the shower for no reason?  I'm not in there doing jumping jacks or practicing the alley cat.  Why worry?

I'll tell you why you should worry.  If you shave the way I do, please, learn from me.

Tuesday morning, I awoke to my unwelcome alarm clock at 5:50 am.  I had been up past 11 the previous night baking bread, because I'm a marvelous wife [yes, I got off my 8 hour shift at 7:30 and came home to make bread.  I'm probably better than you, but only at being a martyr/homemaker].  Thus, I was groggy and not fully awake when I stepped into the shower.

I proceeded to plod robotically through my shower routine.  Shampoo.  Face.  Rinse.  Condition.  Wash.  Shave.  Everything was fine, albeit slow and foggy, until I got to 'shave'.  Here is how I shave:

I do this for a few reasons.  One - because I can.  I'm freakishly flexible.  Two - It's nice to get a good stretch in under that hot water.  Loosens you up for the day.  Three - If I don't have my contacts in yet, I can't even be sure it's my leg that I'm trying to shave.  It might be just some flesh colored tube I found in the shower.  In order to see what I'm doing so as to not lacerate myself or miss large swaths of stubble, I gotta bring the leg to my face.  It usually works pretty well, but on this fateful day, my strategy failed me.

I guess I was stretching a little too hard, putting too much pressure on my back foot.  All I know is that one moment, I was standing up, happily shaving my right shin.  The next, I was in the most awkward, scary position I have experienced in a bathroom (except maybe the position where your face is on the toilet seat because if you lift your head you will vomit some more, but not lifting your face away from the toilet makes you want to vomit and it's just an awful, awful catch-22 that ultimately ends in more vomit no matter what course of action you choose).  It looked something like this:

Oh GOD, you're probably thinking.  Were you injured?  Did you cut yourself?  Bruised?  Pull something?  Maimed?

No.  In fact, I just remembered today that it even happened.  I guess I was so deliriously tired that I just dropped and stood back up before I even realized what I had done.  I stood there for a second, utterly stunned, but once I established that I wasn't broken or bleeding, I carried on with my shower and completely forgot about it for two whole days.

Moral of the story:  If you worry about something long enough, it will eventually happen.