Syllabus #23

I got a better one for ya:  Sit down to pee, kneel for fellatio.  Also, clean my windshield.  That's not part of the joke, but how have I not gotten in an accident?

Well well well.  Look who's back up on her regularly scheduled bullshit.  None of it is serious this week, because frankly, I'm not in the mood for it.  Compartmentalizing will serve me well when I'm pushing a shopping cart full of human meat down an ash covered highway in our impending apocalypse.

This idea for a dick pick filter is genius and long overdue.  Kudos to all the guys covering their dongs in glitter to try to fool the algorithm, you're all real mensches contributing to our body of collective knowledge like that.

Ok, I lied, this topic isn't exactly a laugh a minute, but it's not life or death.  As a librarian and avid library patron, I'm highly sympathetic to the consumer side of this battle.  However, as someone who fantasizes about being a published writer someday, Shakespeare got to get paid, son.  So I dunno.

"Disney's Hitler Movie Mocks Nazis Without Making Light of Them" is not a sequence of words I ever expected to read.  Another movie I'll express interest in seeing and probably never actually watch.

Lucy in the sky, with diiiiaaapers, is how the rest of that headline should have been worded.

Speaking of vessels for urine and feces, I personally would have gone for the solid gold bed pan, or the solid gold catheter.  Either would have been a much easier target.

Have we reached peak comedy?  How will cancel culture continue to impact comedians' craft?  It's not surprising when an open mic-er goes up and says horrendous things with no discernable purpose other than shock value or outright malice.  When established comics do it, though, you have to wonder how they got as far as they did and how much longer their career stands to last. 

Clear my calendar for all of 2021.  I watched so much Seinfeld in my formative years that its characters are deeply embedded in my psyche.  I'm probably actually a terrible person as a result.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Long time listener, first time caller, and I just want to know, why am I just learning about this, and why am I not part of it?  I'll take my answer off the air.  Ok, the answer to your first question is because you barely watch any TV as it is and are only vaguely accepting of the existence of YouTube shows as a thing.  The answer to the second part is that you don't eat meat and nobody cares about you (except your mom, who will surely have some commentary about this slice of self-deprecation pie).

May your weekend be as spicy as you can handle, friends.