Syllabus #29

There's a lot to unpack this week.  Happy Halloween and, this being the morning in which many of you will do a Post-Mischief Night damage assessment, may your vehicles and personal property be free of smashed eggs, toilet paper, shaving cream, silly string, or feces.  You never know how wild things will get.

Pick your poison

Because we can always use a good laugh.

I didn't even read this one, I just glanced at the headline, raised two middle fingers, and said "and here are two things you can do to yourself as soon as you get home."

Everybody calm down, nobody's giving away free edibles this Halloween.  But if you want me to inspect your kids' candy, I guess I can take one for the team.  If you don't hear from me for 48 hours I'm either working my way through all the good candy and leaving only the Tootsie Rolls and Smarties, or I'm rocking back and forth in the fetal position wondering if it's too late to apologize to everyone I've ever met for cheating on a test in 4th grade.

And don't worry, even if your kid does end up with a Hershey Kush or a bag of Reefer's Pieces, they can still be Cali Sober.

Amen to all of this.  I'm on board with 100% of what Roxane Gay has to say about air travel and checking a bag, except I am too cheap and impatient to actually check a bag if it can be avoided.

Imagine my surprise when the questions, "How old are you?" and "So, you like...stuff?" weren't on the list!

They like me, they really like me.  

Yea, that checks out, but you know what, it's the circle of life.  

Speaking of tacky reasons for a party.

An exploration of our collective hatred of vegans.  I have a hard time trusting someone who can turn their back on cheese, but otherwise they're aight.  "Vegans might well be vociferous and annoying, holier-than-thou, self-satisfied and evangelical. But as their numbers grow beyond the margins, perhaps the worst thing they could be is right."

Take me out to that ball game.

This article was worth reading for the following detail: 
Though the details of Eminem’s answers have been redacted, the documents do mention that he started to “rap along with the interviewers as the verse was read.” Apparently his answers were sufficient to convince the agents he did not present a serious danger, since the Secret Service took no further action.

On the female comedians who called out Harvey Weinstein at an event in NYC recently.  The event organizer defended Weinstein's presence by saying, “I welcome all walks of life into my space.  I protect them by freedom of speech.” Girl, wut?  Rape and sexual assault aren't freedom of speech.  No champion of that right would have had those comedians removed from the event.

Analog Reading:

The New Yorker's October 14th issue, specifically the Joyce Carol Oates short story - Sinners in the Hands of An Angry God

There There by Tommy Orange

Sick in the Head by Judd Apatow

Oprah Magazine - November issue  

I ate this very life changing sandwich pictured below on our Thanksgiving trip to New Orleans last year.  I think about it on a weekly basis.

That's it and that's all.  Keep your nose clean, friends.