The 10-Day New Year's Challenge - Day 6

 January 6. Write What You Don't Know, by Caro Claire Burke

Your prompt for today:
Write what you don’t know. Take a song, or a news headline, or an Instagram post by an influencer you love to hate, or anything in between. Identify the parts that feel familiar. Probe the places that feel foreign. If it’s a song, you might ask, where does this story take place? Who haunts the edges of it? If it’s a picture of some famous person you can’t begin to relate to, you might ask, who snapped the photo? What were they thinking as the camera clicked? Then write the story behind it.

---

First I was like what are you asking me to do here, astral projection?  Like I'm some kind of wizard who can empathize with anyone existing outside of my specific lived experience?  Like I'm some kind of evolved human being?  And then I saw this Slate article about the alleged impending Kim and Kanye divorce and thought, "Well that sounds fun."  I know more than I care to about each of them, which is to say very little, so this is pure speculation:

"Daddy, daddy, will you have a tea party with me and my dollies?"

"Gimme like 15 minutes, North.  Daddy's working on his election night concession speech," Kanye replied as he paced the perimeter of his children's 3000 square foot play room, dictating notes into his AirPods.  "I know Imma lose, but it's gotta be the best concession speech of all time."  

North pouted and crossed her arms, then swatted a Regency china teacup onto the floor.  It shattered on the marble tile.  A maid silently rushed in and cleaned up the shards.  "What's erection night, Daddy?"

"Baby, I said e-Lection night.  It's the night that follows the day when people pretend like their voice matters and they have any agency in the world by picking an old white guy that will boss them around for 4 years.  What you said, e-Rection night, is what your mom has been withholding from me for months."

"What's withholding, Daddy?"

"Don't worry about it, North.  You know what, let's have that tea party right now.  I don't need to plan this speech, I can just program some beats on my Casio keyboard and mumble whatever comes to mind."

Kanye pulled out a chair and sat at the child-sized reproduction of Napoleon's dining table.  North stood up and ceremoniously filled two teacups to the brim with what looked and smelled to be piping hot Capri Sun.  She pushed a cup toward Kanye, technicolor liquid sloshing into the saucer.

"One lump of stevia or 2?" North asked.

"You know I always want 2," Kanye answered, as North splashed 2, 3, 4, 5 lumps into his drink.  "Note to self," Kanye whispered into his AirPods.  "Tell lawyer to tell Kim to hire math tutor."

"One dropper of CBD or 2?" North offered, trying unsuccessfully to unscrew the dropper lid on the bottle of CBD oil.

"Better let Daddy do that one."  Kanye gently pried the bottle out of his daughter's hand, unscrewed the lid, tossed the dropper on the floor, and poured the entire bottle into his teacup.  He took a long slurp, leaned back in his chair, and closed his eyes.  Everything is going to be ok.