Sunday, October 23, 2022

Syllabus #172

Might be time to buy a rake


This past week was book fair.  I know all y'all have fond memories from Scholastic Book Fairs of yore, but have you ever RUN a book fair?  If you haven't, then simmer down and reminisce on your own time.  I've got trauma and we are going to unpack it right now.  

Can I tell you how many coins I had to touch this week?  No amount of hand washing will erase the smell of pennies.  I'm going to have to remove a layer of skin with undiluted bleach, that's all there is to it.  And the sweaty money that's been clenched in a tight little fist for an untold amount of time?  Ick.

I had to count out $18 worth of quarters that came out of a sock.  I had to make children cry because, sorry, two dimes, a nickel, and six pennies, is, in fact, $.31, not, as they called it, Nine Monies, and thus, it is insufficient to buy anything.  Never mind the fact that I created a pitifully easy reading challenge that any child could have easily completed, that would have earned them a free book from the book fair.  I'm clearly the monster here.  Just ask the kid who threw a book and kicked a display case because I wouldn't let him use his reading challenge reward to buy a toy instead of a book.

Sidenote, it's amazing how many kids asked if I was making a lot of money from this, and they all were honestly shocked when I explained that it's a fundraiser for the school, and we get only a percentage of the profits, and I'm not actually lining my own pockets with the spoils.  Then again, these are probably the same kids who think I buy books for the library with my own personal money, bless their misguided little hearts.

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Some solid but also very predictable advice for staving off winter illness.  Bonus tip:  Stay away from children.  Those little disease vectors will cough right into your actual mouth while you're talking to them if you aren't careful.  They're in bed with big pharma, I just know it.


Have you read Gone Girl?  I haven't, but this Gone Girl-themed cruise sounds completely unhinged and wonderful.  


This article has it all:  Vulgarity, feminism, and the fascinating use (and limitations) of text-mining to determine the origins of words and phrases, such as, in this case, Barefoot and Pregnant. 


Analog Reading:

The Day the World Came to Town by Jim Defede.  It's about all the US-bound trans-Atlantic flights that had to land in Gander, Newfoundland on 9/11, and how the weird, sleepy little Canadian town jumped into action and welcomed thousands of airline refugees until US airspace reopened.  That sounds like a real big downer, but I've been reading it almost like a bedtime story.  It's a little boring, but I read a chapter or so and then fall asleep thinking about how even in the face of the worst actions man can scheme up, there are plenty of other people who are kind and compassionate.  And then I have night terrors about the book fair, so it's really a wash, but we're trying.

Universal Harvester by John Darnielle (of Mountain Goats fame).  I read his latest book, Devil House, earlier this year, and loved it.  There's something experimental about his fiction, which I appreciate.  In this one, there's a sort of 3rd person omniscient narrator who is gradually revealing him- or herself to be someone perhaps orchestrating all of the events of the story, which centers around a small-town Iowa video store in 1999/2000.  The owner and one of the clerks get sucked into a mysterious and disturbing plot when they find a bunch of their movies have been spliced with grisly home movie footage.  It's odd and I like it.

1 comment:

  1. A book fair sounds less terrifying than the cruise. Either way I'd fear for my sanity. Why do women have short toes? So they can fit close to the sink and stove. Goes along with the barefoot and pregnant school of assholery. Speaking of which, I had a guy on a job tell me I belonged at home cooking and cleaning and taking care of kids like his wife. I told him I felt sorry for her misfortune. He eventually got thrown off the job. Not sorry. Universal Harvester sounds like an interesting read. I'm reading Memphis and having trouble putting it down. Don't want it to end!! Thanks for the recommendation.

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