Uncertainty

The United States Postal Service is taunting me.

I live near the end of a dead-end street.  Twice today, I have seen a mail truck drive past my apartment, make a u-turn IN FRONT of my mailbox, and drive away without stopping to dispense my precious mail.  I know a lot of you dread the mail - bills, threatening letters from stalkers, useless coupons for Omaha steaks and off-brand slankets.  But I am different.  All my bills come electronically, so when I see that mail truck I salivate like a friggin' St. Bernard.

Maybe I'll get a card from a secret admirer (or just an inappropriate greeting card from my mom).  Or maybe I'll randomly get money I forgot someone owed me.  Perhaps a Bed Bath & Beyond coupon I'll never use but will save anyway.

On this particular day, however, I know exactly what I'm getting:  The next movie in my Netflix queue.  And it goddamn better come today, because otherwise it throws off my viewing schedule, not to mention my ENTIRE LIFE.  See, I am determined to milk every last drop from the teat of Netflix before my free trial month is over.  A movie comes on Wednesday - we watch it on Wednesday.  Then I get up on Thursday morning, and immediately after breakfast I walk all the way to the post office to ensure that my movie ships out early.  This is crucial, because otherwise, I won't get my next movie by Saturday, and that brings uncertainty and a disruption to my routine, and...HOW IS A PERSON SUPPOSED TO LIVE LIKE THAT?  WHAT KIND OF SICK SOCIETY DO WE LIVE IN WHEN A GIRL CAN'T EVEN ENJOY THE PREDICTABLE AND REGULAR DELIVERY OF FREE STUFF?  WHO DO I HAVE TO KILL AROUND HERE TO GET MY MAIL AT A DECENT HOUR?

Oh.  Mail's here.

[edit] Not only did my movie arrive, but I also received a card with some sweet photos from a friend AND my husband's Newsweek.  Sweet haul.  I guess good things really do come to those who have absolutely no patience and spew vitriol all over the internet.