Syllabus #19

I have almost nothing to say because the annual commencement of Real Job at Real School has taken over my mental bandwidth.  This development coincided with the death of our coffee maker, which has forced me to rely on the sporadically functioning espresso machine in the lobby of my apartment building, which has drastically reduced my caffeine consumption.  The silver lining is that I don't have the urge to pee every 10 minutes all morning.  The downside is that I bet I'm more of a raging bitch than usual, but no one has the courage to tell me because it's very scary.  Just start a change.org petition to make me buy a new coffee maker, geez, it's not that hard, just get 100 signatures and be cool about it.

Here's a picture of a kid with a future in meme production, which is probably the only job that won't be automated by the time he or she graduates from high school:

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When 8 year olds figure out how to rename icons and you’re actually just impressed that they know how to spell.

A post shared by Katie (@katiewes) on Aug 13, 2019 at 6:27am PDT

Speaking of memes, let's get intellectual about it.  It's been interesting to experience the internet from its early days where it was so much easier to trace the source of a meme, to now where it's so difficult to properly attribute anything because everything is so iterative.

We live in a weird, twisted world made all the more strange by the ways we use technology.  Did you have any idea there's a world championship for the Microsoft Office suite of programs?  No, Karen in accounts receivable didn't win Word (you know that bitch is still trying to roll with perennially unhelpful Clippy from Windows 95), but this super churchy kid from Alabama won the PowerPoint competition.  On the 8th day, God said, let the text fade in from the left on slide 37.

I bet PPT kid gets all the ladies this fall in college.  At least he has a marketable skill.  You know who probably doesn't have much going for them?  Whoever has the free time and determination to snag a $400 Lifetime Pasta Pass from Olive Garden.  Pace yourselves, winners, or that lifetime isn't going to last long enough to get your money's worth.

I know what I'll be saying I'm going to do but not actually following through with doing this weekend:  Seeing Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark.  When's the last time I went to a movie theater?  I dunno, but Obama was president and it was a lot easier to enjoy things un-ironically and feel safe in crowded public spaces, Aurora notwithstanding.

There was a lot of other horrible news I was going to link to, but we all know what kind of world we live in.  Spend too much time staring at the dumpster fire and you'll burn out your retinas.  It'll still be smoldering tomorrow.