Summertime and the Livin' is Greasy

I hate the concept of a bucket list when it applies to a finite window of time after which the list-maker plans to continue being alive.  Sure, life itself is finite and that's why we make bucket lists, but I'm referring to seasonal or age-related bucket lists.  You're not literally dying because you turned 30 or because the summer ended, but maybe a piece of your soul dies if you're so focused on that nomenclature.

I'm not knocking the act of making a list of intentions or goals.  I'm a compulsive list maker.  Sometimes my To Do list includes plans to make other lists.  Make all the lists you want.  List it all.  Go full James Joyce and make the Ulysses of lists; plan every minute of your day including notes to self about picking your nose and wiping your ass.  Just don't use the word bucket.  I hate it.  You can take your bucket, fill it with the words moist and crusty, and throw it right in the dumpster and light it on fire.

I submit to you in its stead, the Docket of Shit to Do.  It's much more official and businesslike.  You can make your own corner-office C-suit executive decisions about what to add and what to omit.  You set the deadlines.  And nobody dies at the end.

"That's something that's not really on my docket of shit to do."  -Kenny Powers

As you can see, the docket is a respectable balance between concrete major plans, fun and relatively simple things I intend to do to maximize the hell out of my time on this earth and also not be a completely selfish hedonist, ongoing goals for self actualization and productivity, and chores.

This past weekend, I crossed three whole things off the Fun Intentions section of the docket.  I went to see the Frida Kahlo exhibit early last week, and then turned my summer fun dial up to 11 this weekend when Andy and I went to a cat cafe, got milkshakes from Cookout, AND went to a baseball game.  We did some other off-docket shit that was enjoyable, too, but I'm very proud of my docket-related accomplishments.

Pics or it didn't happen:

Country legends racing around the diamond.  Dolly wore her most supportive sports bra for the occasion.

Let the record state that I didn't just pay money to pet different cats when I could have pet my own for free.  The cat cafe helps animals find homes and promotes awareness of animal rescue causes.  I'll be waiting by the phone for the call from the Nobel committee.

Sweet fancy Moses, it took me 3 days to finish this monster and it was too thick to suck (#thatswhatshesaid) through a straw.  I let it sit in a hot car for 30 minutes before it was melted enough to consume without bursting a capillary in my face.