Wednesday, April 29, 2020

The Isolation Journals - Day 29

I've already made french toast and rice pudding this morning.  I had about two bites of each, and ate cereal instead.

Today's prompt comes from singer-songwriter Maggie Rogers.

Prompt:  In your deepest core, in your most vulnerable moments - what do you want?

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This question made me mad because I don't have a good answer.  It's easier not to want things because then you can't be disappointed when you don't get them.

What I want is to be heard.  Not just heard - listened to.  Not interrupted.  Not 'nodding while urging you to finish so it can be my turn to speak again.'

It's why I write.  It's why I started doing stand-up.  It's why I went to therapy.  And why I stopped.  Because even someone getting paid to listen couldn't stop staring at her phone.

In my interpersonal life, I'm usually the listener.  It's rarely my turn to talk.  I rush to get my words out before I'm interrupted.  I assume I'm boring you.  So I write.  Because you don't get to interrupt me here.  You can stop reading, but the words, nevertheless, persist.


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