Prompt: Compose ten neologisms inspired by the year 2020. They can be shorthand expressions you’ve been using when texting with friends and family. New coinages to describe novel quarantine behaviors. Old phrases that now hold new meaning. Outdated expressions from youth you’ve rediscovered since moving back in with your parents. Expletives that emerge from a primal place—ones you didn’t know could be unleashed by the presence of an unmasked stranger in the frozen foods.
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Quaran-jeans - noun. Literally any pants, the stretchier the better
ex. I've been wearing the same quaran-jeans for so long they practically stand up on their own when I take them off to sleep.
Quaran-Tina Turner - noun. A state of being in which one's hair looks insane because one's hairbrush has been used solely as a microphone for bathroom karaoke
ex. I think I went in the bathroom to brush my teeth but then I just belted Lizzo's Good as Hell into my hairbrush and called it self care.
Rear Windowing - verb. Aggressively and openly watching one's neighbors for extended periods of time.
ex. John Oliver took the week off so instead of watching TV we just Rear Windowed those naked people across the street again.
Adult Summer Camping - verb. When one's living room becomes the Arts & Crafts Cabin, and maybe one also starts talking to a can of vegetables
ex. I was adult summer camping all day and I made some friendship bracelets, but then I remembered I have no friends except this can of green beans.
(see also Wet Hot American Adult Summer Camp, noun)
B.C. - adjective. abbreviation of Before Covid, which refers to the time prior to shit hitting the fan
ex. My B.C. commute used to take 45 minutes on the freeway but now I just walk from my kitchen to my desk.
Quaran-team - noun. Whomever or whatever provides a support system during one's lockdown. It may consist of a people, pets, plants, sourdough starters, books, shows, booze, vibrators, or some combination thereof.
ex. We've assembled a really strong quaran-team over here with the cat, a fully loaded Kindle, and a case of wine.
Managing up - verb. To parent one's own parents who fail to fully comprehend the risks attendant to their own aging bodies
ex. It's really above my pay grade to do this, but I think I have to manage up and ground my own parents so they stay the hell home.
Defragging your hard drive - verb. To accept that one's living space has become such a disaster there is no path forward other than to pause everything, return belongings to their proper place, and purge useless items.
ex. It took me 20 minutes to wade through the clutter and find the remote, so I broke down and defragged my hard drive.
Grey Gardens - noun. The state of a woman's hair after multiple months of root growth.
ex. I was past due for a hair appointment when lockdown started, now I've gone fully Grey Gardens up in here.
Frednesday - noun. Whatever the hell day it is.
ex. I dunno if I can make it to that family Zoom, I'm booked solid until next Frednesday.
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