The Isolation Journals - Day 85

Prompt:  What monuments do you carry inside you that are engraved with harmful beliefs or represent damaging legacies? What would it take to dismantle them? What could you put in their place that is loving, kind, joyful, and true?

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A face only a mother could love

Ugh.  I know I'll regret this later, but here we go.  I'm having a pity party this week for absolutely no rational reason, but that seems to be how these things work.

What monuments do I carry?   You mean aside from the 8-inch scale model of the Washington Monument I carry in my...never mind.  I know what you mean.  And it's just, you know, the super casual belief that I am a garbage human who contributes nothing to society and nobody likes me and I don't deserve to take up space in the world, physically or existentially.  Just your everyday internalized misogyny.  No big deal.  Don't worry about me.

What would it take to dismantle them?  You mean the one in my...oh you mean the metaphorical ones.  That's above my paygrade, but if I had to take a stab at it, I'd say overthrow the patriarchy, make decent therapy affordable, build a time machine so I could go back and take a Mulligan on my whole socially awkward life.  All totally low-hanging fruit.  Realistic, achievable stuff.  Simple.

What could I put in their place?  I dunno...zucchini...jade eggs, oh right, right, sorry.  How about one of those Ionic Breeze air purifier shits, but for my brain, to hoover up all the toxic thoughts?  

Yea but it's gotta be kind, joyful, and true.  Oh, ok.  How about kitties, and ice cream.  Maybe a kitty wearing a sailor hat, sharing a bowl of ice cream with a puppy and a pot-bellied piglet.  Just a food trough full of ice cream surrounded by fat baby animal friends.  Oh my god.  I don't even dare wish for that, it's too perfect.