Good News!

I'm still unemployed!  I am 3-0 with the job market right now.  That's how many real jobs I have applied for and successfully avoided having to do. 

That's right, I'm calling it in my favor, because I consider it their loss.  Seriously.  I'm smart, I have good hygiene, and I pick my nose only when I'm reasonably certain no one is watching.  What more can a prospective employer honestly expect?  All I know is that they will regret not hiring me the first time they walk in on their newly hired librarian or administrative assistant, wrist deep, digging for gold.

The jury is still out on two other jobs I applied for recently, but I'm really on quite a streak here.  I'd almost hate to see it end, but then again, I have to pay rent soon.  To prepare for the inevitable, I've started a ritual after I brush my teeth every night.  I look at the mirror with a very serious face.  I think of something really sad, like a world without unicorns.  Before I get so verklempt that I actually cry, I ask my reflection, "Would you like fries with that?" 

I've almost gotten to 'fries' without laughing.  I don't think I'm ready to submit my McDonald's application.  Yet.