Titte Brothers

It was mid-morning.  I had just completed the task of washing my bras in the sink, because the laundromat's washers make my clothes look as if I've beaten them against rocks.  I was feeling responsible, accomplished, motivated, and very strongly desiring some employment so one day I can have a washer of my own that doesn't scour my clothing with rocks and razor blades.

I thought I would continue the trend of being proactive, so I picked up the phone and dialed the human resources department for one of my many prospective employers.  I wanted to tell someone that I'll be out of town* next week, you know, in case they wanted to call me for an interview.  I thought, wow, they will be so impressed at how responsible and courteous I am, they will hire me on the spot.

As is customary when I assume such grandiose things, I immediately felt like a huge ass.  "I'm sorry, we just forwarded the list of interviewees to the library, and your name isn't on the list."  "Oh, no, I am the one who is sorry, because you just missed the opportunity to have someone with a Master's of Library and Information Science work in your library for a wage that would be acceptable to a high school dropout.  I spit on your apology, and good day to you."

Actually, I just thanked her for the info, because I never say anything awesome in real life.  But come on, people.  Who do I have to know around here to get a job?  Do I need to have Christ himself agree to be one of my references?  Maybe Oprah?  Seriously, this job required a high school diploma and minimal library work experience - I have four years of library experience and an MLIS. Maybe one of the other 120 applicants had a degree in rocket science and world peace.

It could be worse, though.  I'm not getting high all the time, I don't weigh 500 pounds, and I haven't resorted to doing my dishes in the bathtub.  Yet.

But a new brain just might fix all my problems.

*Good idea - booking a vacation to Yellowstone a year in advance.  Yay!
  Bad idea - booking a vacation to Yellowstone a year in advance when you probably will have no job and even though you already paid for your lodging, you still have to drive there and eat food.  Siiiigh.