Surviving the Apocalypse

I made it back from Yellowstone alive.  In fact, I made it back AWESOME.  Upon viewing my pictures, however, it looks more like I stepped into the pages of Cormac McCarthy's The Road. 

All in all, the trip was a great success, with no disaster WHATSOEVER.  I rode a brown pony with a white spot on its nose, and I pretended it was a unicorn.  His name was Wayne - I pet him and now he is my forever friend.  Also, we drove through a herd of bison and NO ONE got trampled or gored, although when I got out to take pictures, Andy drove away and tried to abandon me.  He eventually came back to get me, but there were some tense moments when I thought I would have to politely excuse myself as I slipped through a crowd of rutting buffalo. 


There was also a bear, but he was down in a ditch eating berries and being cute.  I'm pretty sure he just wanted a hug.

A typical trip to a national park involves children on fire and parents walking away in disgust.

Drinkin' a brew, waitin' for a geyser.

It was very Twin Peaks.

Bear Soap!  I decided washing with this would render you undetectable to bears.

Apocalypse now?

How about now?

Now?

We should have thought about adding goring insurance on my car.

Bear Friend!

Returning home to Idaho from Yellowstone was probably a little less jarring than going back to New Jersey, but the contrast was uncomfortable nonetheless.  School starts on Monday, so all the college students are back and exercising their egos.  It took me 20 minutes to drive 1 mile to the grocery store to get milk and coffee.  There is a huge difference between a traffic delay caused by an arrogant bison in rut, resting in the middle of the road, and a horny college student sauntering across the road 50 feet from the nearest designated crosswalk, without looking for oncoming traffic.  And that difference is the amount of damage my car would sustain if I intentionally rammed into either obstruction.  Both parties should be grateful my insurance doesn't really cover that kind of thing.

But SPEAKING of being able to afford things - I have discovered two potential sources of income!  I may or may not have found a facility in town where I can sell my blood plasma.  Also, I have an interview at the grocery store tomorrow!  I may soon realize my dream of going into a public place and organizing everything/putting things at right angles.  Send some good vibes my way, people, because I really want to earn roughly minimum wage as a grocery stocker, and I totally think my Master's degree qualifies me to do that.

Thanks.